Identifying Your Values – part 4
Posted by Kari on April 27, 2007
So, a value is a principle, standard, or quality that is lived out, considered to be worthwhile or desirable. You’ve already identified, verified, and personalized your values.
It is now time to put all your hard work into action. This is where it goes from theory to practical life, and you can start making intentional choices that are in alignment with who God created you to be. Here are some ideas to get you started:
1. Make your decisions based on your values instead of your emotions or feelings. Emotions are often determined by our perception of events, not necessarily the way things are. “That’s why we must choose to act on the basis of our values, not on the basis of our emotions. Emotions reveal perception, not truth.” (Jerry Cook)
Example: people don’t always respond immediately to my emails. (I’m smiling as I write this, because I know some of you have fallen “victim” to my feedback on this… You guys are GREAT… :) seriously!) Sometimes, I still get frustrated at others because, in my mind, they’ve read it and just aren’t responding to me. Which means that I’m not important… that they don’t care. That’s my perception of the situation. When in reality, maybe there was a tech glitch and they never received my email… or maybe they’ve been so busy that they haven’t opened it yet, because they want to be able to devote their full attention to it.
Now, I can choose to respond to my emotions and shoot off an angry email, or I can choose to act on my values of Love and Respect and patiently wait. Perhaps I could even just check in with them with something like, “I know you’re probably busy, but I sent you an email a week ago and was just wondering if you’ve received it. Can you let me know? Thanks.”
Make sense?
This is not to say that emotions aren’t important… but too often, we allow our emotions to control our lives. And as Jay Kesler wrote, “The idea that if you feel irritable then be irritable, and if you feel happy then be nice to others, makes me a slave of my emotions rather than an obedient servant of Christ.”
2. When you are faced with a difficult situation or choice, ask yourself, “What would COURAGE do in this situation?” Or, “What would FAITH do?” Or, “What would LOVE do?”
If you have trouble answering those questions, try this: Think of someone you know who has that characteristic or value, and ask yourself, “What would they do in this situation?” Now remember that human beings are fallible, and we don’t always make the right choices. But having an example or role model to help you figure this out is incredibly beneficial!
So, if I had to sum all this up, I would ask, What are you committed to? Are you committed to living a life of love, peace, authenticity? Or do you simply say that you are, while secretly, you are committed to self-sabotage, lies, or attention?
The choice is yours… but believe me, others can tell the difference.
